we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
