I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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