They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I'm jealous of your bromance
you guys were way drunker than both of me
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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