Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
