I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
