You're my little dorito
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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