yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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