I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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