If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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