Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
