The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
