Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
