tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Tornado booty call.. dedication
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
