whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
