OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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