she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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