I saw his package. It spoke to me.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
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