you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
