Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
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