I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
