Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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