where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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