i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
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Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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