Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
