Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
