I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
