I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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