We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
