Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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