remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize