my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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