Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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