So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
