i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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