Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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