She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
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