she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
