New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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