Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
