I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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