I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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