Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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