Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
