Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Randomize
