I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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