omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
