There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
