i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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