He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
