somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
