After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
