I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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