i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
