Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Bring me that man meat
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
