i think i have herpe
just one?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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