there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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