i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
Randomize