yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
