Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
