totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
