We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
