were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
