Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
