Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
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