i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
