My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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