I must be too annoying 4 u.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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