I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
