I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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