Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
