vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize