I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
